Let me clip your dirty wings…
Gen X was an interesting time to be running wild and free. Dangerous, too. Or maybe… it was only that the headlines and spread of news became faster. IDK.
This post is really about book research. Or maybe, how book research affects the author. Because without good research, deep insight into the backgrounds of your characters, the act of writing is shallower, less… poignant? I don’t know.
Helloween
So, my current work in progress (WIP) is code-named “Helloween” because of its required theme, and (maybe I’m not really joking about this) the personal hell I’m going through to bring these characters to life.
Whew. Let’s dig in, and please bear with me, this is more of an exploration into the themes and elements that make my FMC (Female Main Character) who she is, why she’s the way she is, and to what lengths she’ll go to reach her goal.
I guess I can start where she started. Where my villain origin story started… in church. “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” [1 Corinthians 13:11]
I’ll toss another quote at you, “In order to worship Satan, you have to believe in him – and there are no references to Satan outside of the Christian Bible.” (Source web article: A little less misunderstanding )
Now I know there are folks out there saying, “Wait a minute, you’re absolutely wrong there, Satan is mentioned in the Old Testament. The Jewish faith believes in Satan.”
To that I say, “Really?” Show me a non-Christian source that proves this. I did a LOT of research on Judaism for “Restore the Night.” Months. Sources. Talked to real Jews, read tons of articles, etc. I can honestly say, that’s not accurate They have an entity that translates roughly to the fallen angel, Lucifer. But in no way shape or form does he rule “Hell,” nor does that faith believe in that place. (Look up Sheol) So, how did it creep into Christian faith in the form we see now? (Oh boy, that’s a rabbit hole… one that ties into Greek mythology (Hades, anyone), Gehenna (a relatively “new” construct connected to a horrific cult practice as a METAPHOR), Horus cults, and a certain Roman religion (Mithraism) in a combination that was all brewing and stewing during the cultural decline of Greek city states and the rise of Roman imperialism.
Is that too geeky for you?
Apologies, I dig deep and cross check sources.
While all this was occuring, frequent contact with the northern tribes of Germania, and the conquest of the British Isles mixed in for a fantastic peppering of woo-woo amalgamation in a pot that was already there. See, Roman legions incorporated the conquered countries’ men into servitude but didn’t keep them where the nabbed them. They sent them to fight in foreign lands. Britons served in Judea, Jews in Briton. (Read Tacitus if you don’t believe me) This cultural mixing, along with a hefty dose of brutal authoritarianism and oligarchical hierarchies must have had a few folks, not used to anything beyond their village, scratching their heads. And talking. And finding commonalities. And dreaming for better days. In other or more simplistic terms, they desired a magic wand to wave over the unjustness of the system so they’d be rewarded for their earthly suffering. And moreover, a dastardly place where the evil men of this world could be stuffed and tortured for all the crimes they perpetuated against humanity.
Ho! And Lark! Does that sound familiar?
Even Norse mythology didn’t equate Hel/Hela with a torture chamber until meeting Christianity.
This was in my research. It’s out there for you if you’re curious.
A personal insight
Between the ages 13-16 I was in a cult. A Christian one, but a cult none-the-less. Chick tracts, proselytizing, camping trips, you name it. Indoctrination with the highest purpose. A bunch of well-meaning folk (including my parents) who introduced me to a challenge to read the Bible from cover to cover. I did.
And had a lot of questions. So, as an extremely shy kid, I did what I usually did. Deep-dived into finding answers which incorporated my love for research, my absolute uncanny knack of memorizing mythology, and a true hatred of anything controlling. The cracks were forming, folks.
Then the funniest set of events happened.
Okay, not funny. Horrific…or at least potentially horrific.
Polly says her back hurts
Come to find out these so-called people of faith were sometimes the worst sinners. And let me tell you, recidivism is easy when you have a “get out of Hell free card” through repentance. Say a prayer, BOOM! All better. No actions, no deeds, just words. Thank goodness I’d already been indoctrinated into Quaker theology previously so I wasn’t fooled.
ICYW, the situation hadn’t reached “dire” yet, but I clearly said no. You know who “saved” me? A biker. I don’t think I’ve ever told this story. Mostly because it would have been swept under the rug as a misunderstanding and gotten my savior in trouble. While the other guy?
Forgiven.
No questions asked, no consequences. A MAGIC get out of Hell free card that he definitely abused at least twice.
Let me tell you, the bikers I met didn’t believe in forgiveness. They believe — at least this one did — in scaring the living shit out of some whacked out religious nut job of a teen assaulter—breaking at least one law in the name of protecting a child. Face it, I was 15. A child. Or, in a very honest interpretation, stepping over the threshold of understanding. When I was a child, I thought like a child. Then I became a woman, and wanted revenge. Not in some future-concept afterlife, in the present. Now. I learned the phrase, Carpe Noctem. I found more safety in the night than the day. But that’s me. YMMV. Do what is best for you. I gave up proselytizing a long-ass time ago.
Okay. Let’s be a bit more honest…
Revenge isn’t always feasible without consequences. I did want revenge, I still do, but I chose to turn to research to heal myself and perhaps create new mythology that serves to warn future generations of the crime of ignoring the ROOT of the problem…it’s all about growth, you know? That, and understanding how cults operate.
Figuring out how certain elements of society build structures that support hierarchies which run counter to benevolence in order to break their control. I asked myself, how could a person do those things if they believed the things I’d been taught? And more curious, how could someone who didn’t believe in these things be the good guy? Finding that answer in books and cross referencing it with real historical data, adding in what the prevalent cultures were like at that time it all became canon… that sort of thing. This all of it taught me what I believe and what I don’t believe. Research was my sanctuary, that… and the memories of this huge BEAR-man (my OG “Beast” story) scaring the shit out of a predator.
Got some rope
Another rabbit hole…it’s related, trust me.
Kurt Cobain wrote “Polly” after reading an article he stumbled across about a 14-year-old girl who had accepted a ride home from a rock concert from a man named Gerald Friend. He probably thought about his fans in that moment. How could he write something profound enough to move society, protect the women in his audience, and teach the men in his audience to feel revulsion for acts like this when society clearly didn’t? (Gerald was paroled at 20 years into a 75-year sentence for abduction, torture, and rape of a 12-year-old.)
We all know how this story goes, don’t we? If not, there’s one takeaway. Kurt wrote the song as an artistic way to bring awareness to the real problem. He said, “Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.”
Promise you
Building Bear was relatively easy. I had an outstanding role model. Building Rose has been HARD. It’s made me face a lot of suppressed anger and memories. Making the villain has been even harder. I remembered the bear rather than the rest. Which means that I’m facing a dilemma, skim over the evil or face it head on to build a better character… one you’ll HATE. Even if it is dredging up some utterly unfun muck.
Isn’t me
Have a seed
Let me clip
Your dirty wings…
That’s the villain. Not the FMC…
Rose (Roisin) is a woman forged by early trials and betrayals. Like me, she realized that what she knew as a child didn’t hold true anymore. She had not one, but two extreme brushes with psychopaths. And one of those men was already so honed that he manipulated the situation to use her as a tool. The journey she’s making in this book is bigger than “finding” her Bear. It’s about regrowing those dirty wings and re-learning how to fly. I’m still digging there… and the book’s goal is a TALL order. I’m hoping my written art resonates as a “myth” for future generations to look at and realize that the hero isn’t always the good guy… or girl.
She’s just as bored as me
She caught me off my guard
Amazes me the will of instinct
More on “Polly”
https://www.reddit.com/r/Nirvana/comments/1689xju/wtf_is_up_with_polly/
